Học tiếng anh nhiều khi là quá khó với các bà nội trợ, nhưng một số vẫn cứ kiên quyết học. Và họ học theo cách cứ nhìn vào vật gì thì liên tưởng đến chữ đó. Dưới đây là một ví dụ về cách họ học ngày tháng trong tuần: Nhìn vào cái mâm thì nói “Mâm đây” : Thứ hai (monday). Nhìn vào hũ tiêu và nói “Tiêu đây”: là thứ ba (tuesday). Nhìn vào cái chổi và nói “Quét đây”: thứ tư (wednesday). Nhìn vào cái thớt nói ” Thớt đây”: thứ năm (Thursday). Nhìn vào con dao, nói “Phay đây”: là thứ sáu (Friday). Nhìn vào hũ rượu rắn của chồng và nói “Xà tửu đây” : Là thứ bảy (Saturday). còn Chủ nhật (Sunday) thì nói “sướng đây” 🙂
(Được bạn gửi qua YM)
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Let's Study English - Nào ta cùng học tiếng Anh :) 
Đó là cách học nhờ vào sự liên tưởng giữa chữ tiếng Anh với tiếng Việt, cũng đc đối với ng học tiếng Anh lớn tuổi nhưng về lâu dài sẽ sai pronunciation trầm trọng…nói chung ko fải là cách hay lắm… Tuy nhiên nếu học tiếng Anh bằng cách kết hợp nhiều chuỗi từ tưởng ko liên quan với nhau bằng 1 hình ảnh liên quan thì dễ học. Vd như bạn có 3 từ: a cat (con mèo), a ball (trái banh) và a child (đứa trẻ), nếu bạn tưởng tượng ra là: con mèo đang chơi cùng trái banh thì đứa trẻ đến lấy. như vậy bạn sẽ có ấn tượng hình ảnh đó gắn liền với 3 từ trên. Rất dễ nhớ
Nice try. One of my old English teacher has a hobby of wandering around in the supermarket and picking up words from the labels there. I think it’s a good habit. Also if you have a certain hobby while learning English, it would be more fun. You won’t wonder “I am a Math guy, why on earth do I have to tolerate English ?” 😀
Vậy là cứ sau *Xà Tửu đây* là *Sướng đây* liền. 🙂
Em phát hiện ra tác giả nè http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-BQNZgHI_fLP.FSg.odovXnwiphnxbA–?cq=1&p=986#comments
Could it be authored by Hoai Linh and Chi Tai in Paris by night 88.
There is also some funny stuff in that comedy: When she first came to America, an officer check her document and asked: “ID?”. She answered “Em di”. 🙂
I heard another joke (maybe offensive):
A vietnamese came to the US and his English was limited. He got into an elevator with a bunch of guys. Someone passed the gas and the smell was unbearable. He got upset and blurted out: “Ai dit?”. One of the (american) guys politely told him: “I know that you did but you did not have to say it out loud!”.
Your joke is funny, anh Dũng 🙂 .
The “maybe offensive” joke above reminds me of a “maybe more offensive” one we usually made when we sang Karaoke back home:
When one wants to tell others that it is his turn to sing, he says “Did I sing?” (“Đit ai xinh ?”), when one wants others to sing a disco song he says “Disco, sing” (“Đit co xinh”) is to say that “hãy hát giùm bài Disco này đi” and if one wants to reminds that it should be Mr./Ms. X’s turn to sing, he says “Did X sing?”.
Every time I had lunch with my colleagues I was asked to tell this “more more offensive” joke (I got it from a friend whose name I forgot!). In order to successfully tell this joke, you should practice some Italian accent. It’s helpful to see that an accent could get you in big troubles.
An Italian visited the US. Coming back to Italy, he said “American are very rude!”. “How so?”, his friends would ask. He explained:
“I ate a a nice restaurant, OK? The waitress served me the silverware. There were only a knife and a spoon. I politely told her: “I wanna f…” (I want a fork). She stared at me and asked “What did you just say?”. I repeated “I wanna f… on the table”. She screamed at me “You son of a b…, everyone wanna f…!”. What did I do? So rude! I left that restaurant and walked across the street to join a Pizzeria (they serve pizza). I ordered two pieces of pizza. The waiter gave me just one. I called him over and told him: “I want to piss (two pieces) on my plate”. The waiter yelled at me: “You want to piss? You go to the restrom! You son of a b…”.
That’s it! I angrily went back to my hotel and found that there was no sheet on my bed. I dialed the receptionist and informed him: “I wanna shit on my bed (I want a sheet on my bed)!”. He furiously yelled “You want to shit? You go to the restrom! You son of a b…”.
That’s more than enough! I checked out. The manager said to me: “Peace to you”. I was mad like hell and yelled at him “Piss to you too!”. They hit me!
Americans are so rude!”
See? Practice your american accent!
Anh Dung, it is hilarious, it’s lucky that Vietnamese accent is not so close to Italian one.
Another example of danger when we badly speak english (or someone is not a good listener):
A lady found a genie. Of course, the genie gave her a wish. “You can have anything you want. What do you want to have?”, he asked.
Being a wise woman, she immediately said: “Happiness!”.
“Sure thing.”, the genie granted her wish.
She turned into a gentleman!
@Tha`y: nice jokes! Is that “Happiness” = “have a Pin..”?
3 minute management course
Lesson One!
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure, why not” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull.” They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day he reached the second branch and, finally, after a fourth
night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He laid
there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson :
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend..
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
This ends the three minute management course.
After posting the joke, I realized it may not be appropriate in this stream jokes. Sorry.
@Toan: I do like your first and third ones though.
To ban quan ly: Please delete my freaking joke, or move to somewhere else. Please ..please ..please do.
Many thanks.
Chuyen na`y na`m day vo duyen qua xa’. Because I did not read the previous ones. Sorry, guys.
I knew that joke and many people liked it when I email them. I think it’s fine.
If you hang around with people (academicians!) long enough, you will see that these are serious morale lessons. 🙂
Everyone, I feel sorry that I might have misunderstood the purpose of the post. It looked a little unpractical to me because we don’t name the things to their original English meanings. So please take my apology for possibly making it into another direction.
To get back to where we were, I’d like to have a few words here. I like Phuc Son’s teacher hobby, picking up words from the labels in supermarkets, it is a very fun way to learn new words. Also, having a vocabulary CD on your Walkman or Ipod on your walk to school is a good way to learn new words by their sounds. Besides, to my own experience, sticking “English word” notes on the things I have at home helps me memorizing them better.
Ps. I have a few mp3 samples from the Verbal Command CD set. Email me if you’d like to try these.
The purpose of this post is to have a little fun. My starting post is obviously a joke, so anh Dũng and everyone else have posted accordingly.
Toan’s jokes are not on the line with the others, but they are sure interesting 🙂 . For your third joke, I would say the cat is really hungry, and the morale lesson would be: “If you are really hungry, you can eat anything, even from $h17!”
Anh Dũng, I heard the Italian guy joke from a tape when I studied in my English for Teaching Assistant class. It’s really funny!
Along this line of jokes, have you heard the joke in which a guy says: “I am sorry eleven.” ? This joke is so true for our Vietnamese accent.
To everyone, I think we should show MinhAnh and her blog some respect by not using bad words too explicitly (as anh Dũng does not). If it’s unavoidable, I guess we have no choice, but please try to make it PG :-).
yuppy anh Long, I also found that anh Toan’s jokes are so interesting that I didn’t want to delete them neither did I know where to move them. I have written an email to anh Toan about this matter (I guess he is Toán from Toán Tin???) but received no reply. Is that because I got the wrong address or wrong person? 🙂
About this blog, this is not mine ^^ It is everyone’s and I am only the one who spend a little more time to make sure things work fine and everyone likes it 🙂 I have no problem with bad words and I am fine with all the jokes so far, but keeping our blog PG is probably a good idea 🙂
Dear co^ MA: I think you mentioned a right Toan, but seems you got my email incorrectly. I received no email from you.
My purpose of posting jokes is of course to share the possible fun which I found fun. Apparently, some may not think of that way.
Anyway, just enjoy…!
The time of posting comments shows up incorrectly in this website – a sure thing. Sometimes, it may lead to some “serious” misunderstanding – a personal issue, complicated.
Toan, when you said “apparently”, did you mean someone actually saying he/she hated your jokes? As I recall from the comments, although people agree that your jokes are not of the same type with the one on the first post, no one said that they didn’t like your jokes. So, you are good 🙂 .
@Long: I don’t know “I am sorry eleven” joke yet. If it is appropriate, please share. I agree that there should be some limits for jokes on this blog. So far I think my jokes are already at the borderline. We don’t want to give reason for some passerby undermines the seriousness of this blog.
Busy lately to learn carpentry. I am proud to show you guys my big project “MY NEW DECK”. The almost finished result can be found at:
http://math.utsa.edu/~dle/deck/
Uyen and I stained it this morning. It looks much better now. 🙂
A Vietnamese guy bumped into an American on the street. He is very polite and says: “I’m sorry!”. The American guy replies: “I am sorry, too.”
The Vietnamese guy immediately says: “I’m sorry three.” The American guy asked: “What are you sorry for?”
The Vietnamese guy responds without hesitation: “I’m sorry five!” The American guy now is a bit worried: “I am sorry but are you sick?” The Vietnamese guy says right away: “I’m sorry seven!”
The American guy at this point gets mad a little: “I am sorry but do you intend to count to eight?” The Vietnamese guy fires back: “I’m sorry nine!” The American mumbles in shock: “Then…then…” And the Vietnamese guy hammers the last nail: “I’m sorry eleven!”….
I told this joke to an American friend, and he didn’t get it. I guess because when he says “six”, he pronouns the “x” at the end, as well as when he says “then”, he actually puts his tongue between his teeth. I have heard so many Vietnamese say those words with incorrect pronunciation. A few more examples would be:
-“five” without “v” at the end,
-“people” with “b” instead of “p”,
– “fax” without the “x” at the end and without a clear “a”, etc.
@a Toan: This makes sense! Ahhh… I have just checked!!! I used the email address in my address book, which is your yahoo mail, and now you are using gmail insead 😀 I will forward it to you ^^ BTW, please don’t add co^ at the beginning when calling me (nghe già lắm, hix 😦 )
@I am sorry eleven: 😀