Practice Writing – 2 – Teenagers, students and part time job

This topic is suggested by Duy Nguyen

“In some countries, the teenager has to do part time works to earn some money and the student as well . Do you agree or disagree that teenagers or students should do part time job“

If you have any suggestion for up coming topics, please post it here.

34 Responses

  1. And this was the essay written by Duy Nguyen

    In some countries, the teenager has to do part time works to earn some money and the student as well . Do you agree or disagree that teenagers or students should do part time?

    The issue of students or teenagers should do part time works is a controversial one. Many believe that part time jobs benefit them so much. Moreover, by doing part time, they can earn money, become financial independent, and even can help their family in case of needs. On the other hand, many argue that those should not do part time job because their main duty is studying. In my opinion, I personally think that students or teenager can work part time but not mainly for money. I base my ideas on the following reasons.

    Firstly, it is undeniable that money plays an important role throughout the life of each people, especially for teenager or students. Having money from working part time, they can pay for themselves every day basic needs such as : buying a book, tailoring a clothe, …even taking a long holiday without financially depending on their family. Furthermore, experiences from working part time will be a advantage for them when they applying for a job. This is really important factor in nowadays competitive job environment. Their experiences will create a strong impression for the employer. In addition, in some cases, they can support their family in case of needs.

    However, from other side, those who pay too much for part time job clearly get many disadvantages especially for those still studying. For instance, their time paying for studying would be limited, thus they may have difficulties in following the class. Many complain that they are too tired and do not want to go to class after hard working night. Consequently, these students will receive a not good grade records, therefore, this will strongly affect on the chance of finding a good job. Moreover, those who have a large amount of money in hand may be easily involved in drug addition, alcoholic, even committed in serious crime like gambling.

    In conclusion, I myself suppose that those who can receive financial support from the relatives should not do part time work when they are still studying, and for those who can not, they should find a harmony way that can integrate both studying and earning money. And of course, the elderly should pay more concern for them in case of needs.

  2. Your English writing is good, you did a good job🙂

    I have not read it carefully, but this is my suggestion: don’t discuss both sides of the problem.

    I was recommended that for the TOEFL writing test we either agree or disagree. Just for agree or disagree we already need to give 2 to 3 supporting ideas – means 2 ro 3 paragraphs, each paragraph for one supporting idea – we won’t have enough time to cover both carefully.

  3. When talking to young Americans, I found out that it is very common for American teenagers and students to work in McDonald (the fast food chain) or to in restaurants as waiters/waitresses when they want to earn extra money to support their needs.

    The students in college can apply for a loan from the federal government (student loans) with no interest to pay for their school fee. The tuition fee in American universities are very high in general, especially private universities. Some prestigious schools ask up to 25 000 / year for the tuition. As soon as the students have a job, they have to pay back the debt.

    American parents, in general, are not going to support their children financially when they are over 16🙂

  4. Dear anhbui
    Thanks so much for your suggestions !

  5. I would like to join your topic.

    In some countries, the teenager has to do part time works to earn some money and the student as well . Do you agree or disagree that teenagers or students should do part time?

    In my opinion, teenagers and students shouldn’t do part time jobs.
    First, I think that the most important thing that teenagers and students have to do is studying. They have to concentrate and use a lot of time for their study. If doing part time jobs, they will loose an amount of time each day. Moreover, they’ll be tired after work. So that, they can not concentrate well on their study. Their result will be worse and this affect their future.
    Besides, teenagers and students need time to relax after studying. You can see that if you only study and work, you’ll be very depressed and tired. So that, to improve ourself better,especially for our bright future, we shouldn’t do part time job and have some time to relax. We can play football or tennis,… in our free time not only to relax but also to improve our health. This time is really important for us and we shouldn’t forget it.
    Although you can’t earn some money from part time jobs, you can have enough time for both studying and relax and have a bright future. Also you can earn a lot of money in the future if you preprare everything well.
    So I think that teenager and student shouldn’t do part time jobs.

    • i agree with ur essay dat student shd not do part time,as it will affect their future. Once they have good degree they can alwaz do/get good job,better then part time job

    • I totally disagree with you. Because, firstly, there are a lot of suitable works, for students, so they can choose, and secondly, they might work on work, that is connected by their speciality

  6. To Duy Nguyen: Your essay is actually an expository essay while this topics ( I suppose ) is for an argumentative essay. Anh Bui was right. Toefl only gives argumentative essay.
    “Expository” means you are sort of an outsider reporting opinions without criticisms or comments while argumentative one is the one that expresses your own viewpoint.
    After reading your essay, I still have the question “So are you trying to support students working part time or are you against it ?”
    I think it’s good to have a look at the classification of essays in some writing book.
    Have fun

  7. Wow that’s nice to know, anh Sơn, I didn’t know that🙂

    Personally I find it is good for teenagers and students to do part time job. As anh Thống said, it is very common for students in the USA to do part time job. That not only gives them some extra money but also contributes to their work experience and helps build up their personality. Especially if they are looking towards having a job rather than pursuing higher education, work experience plays an important role for them to get a good job.

    The point is, in Vietnam, as I know, we don’t have good part time job for teenagers and students. By “good” here I mean good environment with decent salary (except for private tutoring). Also, Vietnamese families tend to support their children so much. I believe that is one of the reasons why Vietnamese students are, in general, less confident than American ones. (I received a lot of support from my parents tho😀 )

  8. Dear Sơn, could you give us some more information about the types of essay? Thank you very much!
    About LittleBoy’s essay, I believe he doesn’t support students working part-time. I am not sure why you don’t see that. Is that because he did not emphasize enough on his “not supporting” or because he did not have enough/strong arguments to back his opinion up?
    Sơn, do you also know whether TOEFL essays are graded on the quality of writing or the quality of argument? I am not sure about that either.
    Thanks🙂 !!

  9. Dear Anh Son !
    “So are you trying to support students working part time or are you against it ?” I personally think that this topic is truly contronversial one.

    “…to have a look at the classification of essays in some writing book” Really I try to read as many essays as posible.

    Thanks so much for your suggestions !

  10. I agree that teenagers or students should do part time job to get money because I think there are some good reasons to do that

    First of all, they need to have some experiences for their future career. If they have good experiences, they will have good opportunity to get job when they finish their education. You know that, if you have some experiences, you will be easy to adapt to your company. Hence, your salary can be risen and you can have higher position in your company. And nowadays, almost all company like to choose candidates having good experiences so that they can do good job without training.

    Second, with part time job, you have not depend on your parents too much about finance. You will have a small money that is enough for you to do a personal thing you like and you don’t have to ask your mom or your dad some money to do some small things. With your money form part time job, you can buy the shoes you like so much but your parents think that buying it is waste your money. Another idea is that you can use that money buy a small present for you parents, they will happy much and they will be proud of you.

    Third, you will appreciate money that you earn from that job. You are happy to use your money because it is from you labor. You will not waste you money for something having no meaning. You can study how to make plans from a small money to realize your dream.

    Finally, with all my reasons above, I agree that doing part time job is a good thing. Therefore if you have opportunity to do that job, you should do it. But you have to notice that you should not do part time job like you work for a full time job, because you will not have good results in your education- that isn’t your final goal, is it?.

  11. There are many debates that students should do a part time job or not. Many people suppose that students should concentrate on their study instead of wasting the time on having a part time job. However, in my opinion, students should participate in a part-time job for the following reasons.

    The first point I would like to make is that you can earn some money from a part-time job. Obviously, it not only support your studying but also supply for your essential demands. For instance, you can buy some books you like, pay for your transport fees or go to the movie. Another valuable benefit is to decline your family’s burden. Furthermore, if you seek much money from this job, you can contribute to your family’s income.

    Secondly, when you get a part-time job, you will have many chances to develop and finish your individual properties. For example, you will have more confidence and independence which is significantly useful to accomplish the success in other aspects in your life, especially in your future work. On the other hand, through working hard, you will recognize how worth the money is. I think it is the best way to learn about the saving.

    By doing a part-time job, you can support both yourself and your family.In addition, you can learn some valuable skills that you hardly are studied at university.So, I have come to the conclusion that having a part time job is better for you.

  12. Hi Duy Nguyen,

    I think you don’t get what anh Son wanted to say. His point was “Toefl only gives argumentative essay” but not “an expository essay”. Basically most of the topics given in TOEFL test are controversial, and what they are looking for is our unique point of view about it, that whether we agree or not, and why. And the way to answer these questions is what I pointed out earlier.

    However, I only know that we better either agree or disagree, not both, but didn’t know why. Anh Son explained why we should do it and informed us the nature of TOEFL essay (argumentative) and its differences compared to expository essay. We are used to write expository essay for our Vietnamese courses, in many of the essays we have in our normal class. But that is just not what they (TOEFL) are looking for🙂

    and by “…to have a look at the classification of essays in some writing book” I believe he wanted ya to check these types of essays to know their differences, but not to read many essays🙂 (reading lots of essays is useful tho, but not what he meant)

    Following that together with your current writing skill you should get high score for the writing section😉

  13. @ Phi
    “I agree that teenagers or students should do part time job to get money because I think there are some good reasons to do that”

    -> As a paragraph it is so short and as a sentence it is so long🙂. You may use “to do so” instead of “to do that” to avoid repeating “that”.

    Overall you should use more V+ing and noun phrase, parallel structure, … (sorry I’m bad at recognizing all these grammar stuffs😀 ) to shorten your sentence. For instance “If they have good experiences, they will have good opportunity to get job when they finish their education.” might be better with “The better their experiences the better is their chance to get a good job after college.” (Hey I may have some mistake here😀 )

    “small money” -> “small amount of money” (???)

    “they will happy much and they will be proud of you.” -> “they will be very happy and be proud of you”

    “for something having no meaning.” -> “for some meaningless things” (???)

    “Finally, with all my reasons above,” -> for the conclusion I believe we should not use “Finally”. With “finally” readers will understand that you are about to state your 4th reason rather than the conlusion. So “With all my reasons above,” is enough to inform the readers that you are about to conclude.

    Overall your essay is much clearer now. Keep it up🙂

  14. @Dinh

    Your essay is, in overall, a good one (well at least I think so😀 )

    This is some of my suggestions:

    “transport fees” -> I usually use “transportation fees” instead. Honestly I don’t know whether what is the difference between these two😀

    “have more confidence and independence” -> “be more confident and independent” (???)

    “you hardly are studied” -> “you hardly can you study”

    That’s all ^__^

  15. Teenagers and students are the next generation of a country.They need to get as much experiences as they can because those will be necesary in their lives.There are many ways for these people to gain their living experiences but the best choice; I think and most people do; is working. Most of teenagers and students will get part time job. As a teenager and a student,I found some reasons that young people like me should or have to get jobs.

    First of all, as I’ve mentioned above, they need to more experiences. Can the student know how to talk with a boss of a company she intends to work at if she didn’t have true experiences from the part time job? Of course, it will be more difficult than if she can use her knowledge she got before. Do you agree with me?

    Secondly, I’m sure that young people will gain their confidence to communicate with others if they don’t intend to stay home during their educational period of time. This characteristic also very important for them.

    Thirdly, they need to support themselves even they will not study anymore in the future.Some of teenegers and students need to get a part time job to keep on studying because their families may not have enough the ability to supprt them anymore.

    The final one is that they do not have to spend too many times on the job though they may get the same salary as a full time worker.

    Generally, getting part time jobs is very necessary, teenagers and students have to practice the living expernces by that way to be an adult.

  16. i’m sorry becuz i couldn’t make mine as the right form of the essay. My computer has a problem with the keyboard.^^

  17. @nguyễn hòang cát tiên

    I like your essay, but I have some suggestions that would make it “flow” better:

    1) In the first sentence, I think it would be best if you exclude “of a country”. Or you can substitute it with “of our world” or something like that.

    2) This second sentence is a bit…”iffy”. In my opinion, it might be better to write “They need to get as much experience (singular)…it will be necessary…” but I’m not sure if that’s grammatically correct

    3) There are many ways for people to gain life experiences, but the best choice, in my opinion, is to work.

    4) In the fourth sentence, leave out the “of”

    5) I found some reasons as to why young people like me should, or have to, get jobs.

    6) if she doesn’t (present) have any experience in dealing with that sort of confrontation that may only result from working? –> This sentence is a bit long. If you could make this into two sentences, it would be a lot better

    7) Of course, it would be easier if she could take some of the knowledge from her previous experiences and use it to talk to her boss –> something like that

    8) I’m sure that young people will gain more confidence to communicate with others if they avoid staying home during their educational period of time.

    9) they need to support themselves even IF they do not continue their education. Others may need to get a part time job to continue their studies because their families may not have the ability to supprt them.

    10) The final reason is that they will not have to spend too much time on the job, though they may get the same salary as a full time worker. (Um…that isn’t necessarily true all the time)

    11) Generally, getting part time jobs is very necessary and important for teenagers and students to practice gaining life experiences.

  18. huhm…….can i say sthing?
    you guys here are really really good at english especially at writing and i do admire you guys so much ^__________^

  19. I PERSONALLY FEEL IS STUDENTS SHOULD NOT DO PART TIME JOB UNLESS THEY CAN EXCEL IN THEIR STUDIES BECAUSE IF THEY DO PART TIME JOBS THEY WILL LACK BEHIND IN THEIR STUDIES AND CANNOT COMPETE WITH OTHERS STUDENTS AND WORKING MAKES THEM WORKAHOLIC. AND DUE TO WORK IT MAKES THEM VERY DEPRESSED AND EXHAUSTED. THEY ALSO DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON CLASS BACAUSE THEY ARE LOADED BY THE WORK.AND OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE GOING TO GET BAD RESULTS. SO STUDENTS NOT DO PART TIME JOBS.

    • I think student should find the part time job, if you are not experience you will meet many difficulty about interview, conversation,etc. Because your knowledge are not enough when you study in your school.

  20. teenagesrs should study.

  21. Nice work! Thanks to all of your opinion, i’ve earned a lot from yours. But, let me have an advice, it went out that many of you are Vietnamese. It’s shown in your way of delivering ideas. I mean, it is not natural, yours still have the Vietnamese literature’s forms which i learned in my high school. ( It’s only my personal opinion. If you have any cm, plz contact me at my email address. Thanks! )

  22. To Duy Nguyen:your writing skill is quite good.I see your point and I agree with this statement. In my opinion, I think a part time job also helps students and teenagers a lot. Some students and teenagers do not have ability to pay their fees at university and school. This can lead to some serious problems. For examples, when a student does not have enough money to pay fees, he can not maintain his study at university. Thus, a part time job is extremely necessary for them.

  23. Quite good English,
    you might use some more arguments and you better can’t show both sides of the topic.
    If you do, you can say why that is not true or bullshit.

  24. 3. Hi, I think your website is interesting very colorful. Good job! I feel helping job seekers finding their ream home jobs are a fulfilling quest. Good luck in your quest too.

  25. In my opinion , students should do part time job . Firstly ,with part time job, students not only have more money to spend on more things they like but also know how to respect money . Fact shows that many teenagers from rich families waste money too much on useless things such as games . Therefore , doing part time job is a chance for them to learn a good lesson that money is not easy to get and they know how to spend their money right . Secondly ,part time job brings students a chance to get experience which help them so much to face up with dificulties in life after.
    In conclusion , students should do part time job if they can . However ,they should know the most important responsibility is studying

  26. ohhhh tanks very very very much to every one here

  27. Having a part time job in the field of your study while going to school is great for several reasons but can also be bad if the amount of hours required takes away from the time needed for studies. It used to be that college students average length was 4.5 years till graduating. Now, here in the US, the average is 6 years to graduate. One of the causes is that there are to many things taking away valuable study time

  28. i like these essay very much

  29. therer are many argues if students should do a part-time job. Some people consider that teenagers might be knee-deep in studing. Others are sure that students ought to participate ina part-time job. As for me, I support the second point of view.
    I consider that teenagers can get a few good traits if they are busy at work They become discreet, sane, patient. They realize that they are in charge of their piece of work. These points will help them to be at odd with any trouble.
    Moreover, doing different kinds of work favor teenagers to figure out sphere they are disposed to: tourism, restaurant business or anything else. Partt-time job can be a stepping stone to the future career.
    There is an opinion which is different from mine. They say, that teenagers have to concentrate on their studing. In the case they work, students feel tired after it and often they don’t do hometask what leads to difficaltie in thi following the class. But it seems to me that adjustment time for studing and working in schedule both will help to solve this problem.
    To sum up I would like to say that a part-time job gives a number of profits, and helps teenagers to make their minds concerning their future.

  30. most of your english is not very well used…

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